You Have Questions

Is this a real recovery program?

BA is a real fellowship of people who have gathered around a common problem and found that gathering helps. We do not have professional staff, licensed therapists, or a medical director. We are not a substitute for medical care, psychiatric treatment, or any form of professional support. What we are is a room — physical or virtual — where people who have been where you are will tell you what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. That is what all of these programs are, when you strip away the rest. In that sense, yes. This is real.

Do I have to believe in God?

No. Please see the Preamble. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop boofing. The higher power language in the steps is there because it comes from a tradition where it was useful. You are welcome to use it as written, adapt it, replace it with something that works for you, or set it aside entirely and just work with what's concrete. We have seen all of these approaches succeed. We have not seen a requirement to believe anything succeed.

What even is boofing?

We're not going to answer that here.

Can I bring Gary?

Gary knows what he did.

Is this like Cocaine Anonymous?

CA thinks it's the fun one. We have no comment on this claim. We do note that BA is not affiliated with Cocaine Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, or any other twelve-step organization. We have borrowed certain structural elements with respect and gratitude. We have not borrowed their membership lists, which we understand are confidential, and would not have been shared anyway.

What is the Thirteenth Step?

It's the page in the nav that says Thirteenth Step. Go read it. We wrote it down.

How do I know if I’m a Boofer?

The test is not a particular substance or a particular method or a particular number of years or a particular low point. The test is: have you tried to stop and found that you could not? Have you told yourself this time was the last time and found that it wasn't? Have you done the math at 3am? If you're reading this page and something in the previous sentence landed, you probably know the answer. You don't have to say it out loud yet. You can just keep reading.

What if I'm not sure I have a problem?

Come to a meeting. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to identify as anything. You can sit and listen and decide afterward. Many of our members attended three or four meetings before they called themselves a Boofer. One member attended eleven meetings before he said the word. He has been sober five years. The meetings counted. The words came when they were ready.

Do I need a sponsor?

No. A sponsor is recommended, in the same way that wearing shoes is recommended when walking on gravel. Many people have gotten sober without one. Many others have tried to do it alone for years and found that having one specific person who had been through it was the thing that finally made the difference. We suggest you remain open to the possibility. We do not suggest Gary, specifically, unless Gary is someone other than the Gary we're thinking of.

What happens at a meeting?

Someone opens the meeting, usually by reading something. The Preamble. The Promises. Occasionally someone reads the wrong thing and there's a moment, and then it's fine. People share — about where they are, what's hard, what's helping, what happened that week. Nobody is required to share. The meeting ends with something read together and then people stand around and drink the coffee, which, again, we are working on.

Is my anonymity protected?

Anonymity is a tradition in BA, as in all twelve-step programs. What is shared in a meeting stays in a meeting. We ask this of our members. We cannot enforce it the way a contract can be enforced. What we can tell you is that in our experience, rooms where people are honest about difficult things tend to protect each other's honesty. We have found this to be true.

What's the turkey baster about?

The turkey baster is the mascot. It is always slightly dripping. We are not going to explain this further and we ask that you sit with that.

I relapsed. Can I still come back?

Yes. This question has been asked, in different forms, at every meeting we have ever held, usually by someone who has just walked back in the door after something happened. The answer is always the same. You came back. That's the whole thing. Start where you are. The room will still be there Thursday.

I'm not sure I'm ready. What do I do?

Read the Promises. If something in them moves, follow that. That's all. You don't have to be ready. You just have to be here. Readiness is something that tends to arrive after you've already started, not before.